yes the trip to the psychiatrist was very shitty

basically went “oh things have been going pretty good, im pretty happy, no suicidal/harmful thoughts for a long time now, writing a lot [other than this week] feeling really productive, met some really supportive and great people [on the internet] pretty awesome actually—”

"but WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE??? DONT YOU FEEL TERRIBLE YOURE A BURDEN ON YOUR PARENTS AND SOCIETY? WRITING ISNT A CAREER YOU KNOW! YOU NEED A REGULAR PEOPLE JOB! WHAT YOURE DOING MAKES YOU HAPPY BUT IT ISNT GOOD ENOUGH! ALSO YOURE FAT!"

pretty much nothing in the world makes me feel shittier than my psychiatrist. 

but despite all the shit she spews at me, and how much she doesnt understand me, i know who i am. i know what i am and am not capable of. i have a grasp on my mental state and im pretty at peace with it. 

and i came home to some really nice asks so that makes all the difference <3