i hate it when i write things, especially ones that have taken a long time to get off my chest

because it feels bad whether i post it or not.

bad if i dont post it because i want to get it out in the open and theres always a slim hope that someone might read it and like it. and bad if i do because it makes me to fucking nervous to be open to ridicule that it makes me sick for like a day thinking people are going to read it and think im retarded. 

im fucked either way. its a conundrum every time.